Men are liars. This is what I had to explain to my friend today. They cannot help themselves, they’re just pathological. I haven’t dated a man yet who has not lied to me. Whether they’re whoppers or just little white lies, they tend to spew forth from their mouths constantly. My friend’s boyfriend had told her so much bulls#*t that she finally hauled off and slapped him last weekend at the bar for something totally innocent and random. She said his mouth kept moving but she couldn’t hear the words coming out of them, and before she knew it she slapped the hell out of him in front of everyone. This is what happens when you lie to us, you get pimp slapped in front of everyone. Here are the rules and pay attention so this doesn’t happen to you:
1. Do not bulls#*t us, we know when you’re lying. We’ve been with you long enough to know your tells, and know the signs from previous relationships.
2. Do not hook up with other girls, and expect us to be faithful. Guess what, you opened that door, so don’t be surprised that we’re riding your friend in his SUV in the parking lot of the bar.
3. Do not tell us you love us. You don’t. You love yourself.
4. Do NOT mention the “m” word, unless you are on bended knee with a huge a$$ diamond in your hand. Even then, good luck.
5. Do not always take your cell phone with you when you leave the room! You moron, quit being a freaking amateur. That’s first thing that sets off alarms!
Enough said.
Little Duchess Isn’t Taking It Anymore.
Laralira Said:
on March 13, 2009 at 8:09 pm
This is so true … they truly think that we suck our thumbs all day long and just believe everything that comes out of their mouths. It seems we have switched roles here, they are now the homemakers and we bring home the bacon. They certainly cant accept that we have become stronger, responsible and better at their game than they have ever been. I am officially done with “Ninjas”, it seems we need to look for a much much older man inorder to attain some sort of chivalry or respect at all.
stefani Said:
on July 19, 2009 at 2:06 am
Amen, Sistah! I’m having the most evil thoughts about men right now. And maybe it isn’t ALL men, just the ones I’ve dealt with in my lifetime, but they are the lowest form of life. Liars, absolutely to their core, and not worth the sperm it take to produce them! Grrr….
Adrian Said:
on July 31, 2009 at 8:49 pm
Awww, did someone get their feelings hurt? Maybe if you werent such a bitch you’d know how to open a dialogue with your man and make him feel more comfortable to open up to you. Women like you diserve everything you get. Notice how I said “women like you” and not ALL WOMEN. You fail horribly when you generalize an entire sex. Go dive your self pity into a tub of Ben&Jerries, become an even more vicous fat bitch and see what kind of decent men will even bother with your self destructive ass. I cant belive I even entertained this non-sence, grow up.
Little Duchess Said:
on September 17, 2009 at 9:56 pm
Go to church. You need it.
deaddude Said:
on August 11, 2009 at 5:27 am
I will agree with you that MOST men would definitely fit in your blanket description there, but not ALL of them. It’s just the kind of dudes that most babes want are usually the biggest players out there. And regardless of how much you complain, you know deep down in your soul that you only want a guy like this anyways since he will probably look like a Bowflex commercial model and spend lots of money on you…
Little Duchess Said:
on September 17, 2009 at 9:55 pm
Negative. There are decent guys out there, but they usually aren’t the ones approaching the ladies. It’s usually the cocky losers that talk to you at the grocery store.