It never fails…I always end up single at the same time every year. Once again, I’m left to ponder the state that I’m in and the past relationships I’ve had, and question what the hell is going on! So without further adieu, here comes my annual relationship blog. (drum rolling)
Ohhhh, where to start…this last year was quite a year for me boywise. I started off with a Toy, whom I still adore even though he’s a little shit. I added a Bitch to the mix, which worked out perfectly because he lived in another state therefore he was never an issue. Next came the Blast from the Past, which I don’t usually go back to the same guy twice (a good rule, I should stick with it more often). From these men, I’ve learned some valuable rules that I am henceforth sticking to:
1. Don’t keep going back to the same person!!!!
There’s a reason why it didn’t work. Burn me once, shame on you. Burn me twice, shame on me for being a effing doormat. If you don’t love someone the first time around, odds are you won’t the second time.
2. Toys will always be toys.
Toys are for fun, and are never meant to be taken seriously. When Toys get serious ( and it doesn’t necessarily mean with you), they are broken and therefore of no further use. Toss ‘em and get a new one.
3. PussyBoy go splat.
I’m a big enough bitch for the both of us. I cannot be with a man who’s bitchier than I am. It’s not an attractive quality, and definitely not conducive to sexy time. If I wanted a pussy, I’d be a lesbian.
I’m sure this year will definitely add to the rules, but that is what I’ve learned thus far. For the record, I have no one to blame but myself. I knew they were all bad ideas, but I did it anyways. Well, I’m contemplating a date with a pilot, so we’ll see how many new rules I get from him. Pilots are generally scum, and I’m betting that he’s no different but I do loooove a man in uniform. Yep, I’m good at making rules, but I’m crap at following them.
In the end, I want what most people want. I just wanna’ love someone and have them love me back. It doesn’t seem like such a huge request, but it’s harder to find love than it is to find a job. And I’ve begun to realize that maybe I’m just not that lovable, I’m sure they are a few people that can attest to that.
So I just trudge along, hoping that I’ll meet a nice dude who can love me despite all my bullsh*t.
Til next year,
the Surviving, Unsinkable, Cynical, Incorrigible LD
PS. If you haven’t read my previous Relationship Hierarchy blog, I suggest you read it. It’s bloody brilliant if I do say so myself, and I really think I’m on to something.
